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The inactivity of this forum.
Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:06 pm by Burkman
It's depressing to see how inactive it has been recently. I mean, everybody is pretty much primarily posting in the never ending thread now and there's not enough people here to make this place really booming. We need to find some way to bring more people here before this place just fades into nothingness...

I know for a fact that a lot of boards out there are thriving because of how many people are there. We just need to get back into the game and pull people here. However, where we obtain these people might matter, because we don't to end up pulling in douches like those at Selkath.

I understand that people are busy these days, but it doesn't seem like they're rarely at their computer anymore. I know most of you are still dicking around with your computer. I don't know how we …

[ Full reading ]
Comments: 7
Happy New Year!
Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:56 pm by Scott
Happy New Year OT! We may be dying... BUT WE'RE STILL HERE! We had an... interesting year last year. Vice Admin Burkman is taking a long earned vacation and Uly is stepping into his position. Well... I'd have more to say but I've got other things to do atm... and oh yeah... to quote Callin... "GET A MIC YA BUM!"

~Scott

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 A letter from the Queen

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Matieu
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PostSubject: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:32 pm

To: The citizens of the United States of America

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent members of congress and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A survey will be conducted sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').



2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'



3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.



4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.



5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.

Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.



6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.



7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.



8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.



9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Canadian Molson Beer is great too, that is why they produce and export so many great ice hockey players. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.



10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English and Canadian actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English and Canadian actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.



11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians or Indians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.



13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.



14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).



15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.



God Save the Queen!

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Causa
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:44 pm

Come at me bro!

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:47 pm

I am not wasting my time reading through that wall of text.

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Matieu
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:48 pm

Gaming Misfit wrote:
I am not wasting my time reading through that wall of text.


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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:51 pm

Matieu wrote:
Gaming Misfit wrote:
I am not wasting my time reading through that wall of text.


Mmkay.

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Matieu
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:52 pm

Gaming Misfit wrote:
Mmkay.


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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:54 pm

I'm really not in a mood for stuidity, so I think I'll just migrate over to a different topic.

Farewell for now.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:02 pm

Burn the town.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:06 pm

I liked Queen. Good band.
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:38 pm

You actually spent the time to write this up?

Dude... FABULOUS!!

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:28 pm

Awwww... can't we play maniacal capitalist empire for just a little bit longer? We promise to put the land mines back when we're done.

Hmph.... some parent country you are...


On the other hand... I'd like to point out all of Mat's misconceptions, and add my own two cents. OMG!

Matieu wrote:
To: The citizens of the United States of America

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent members of congress and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A survey will be conducted sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

I had issuers getting use to saying "color" instead of "colour" when I came back from Ireland and South America.



2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

Quite common in the UK... like really common.



3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

But it's our fun day...



4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

lawyers- they're witches... burn them
therapists- they're witches... burn them
guns- you can pry mine from my cold dead fingers



5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.

Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

You're going to ruin your red coats taking them from me... after which I'll peel their skin from their bodies in public with my peeler licence.



6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

/agreed



7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

Depends if you want the petroleum I find for you... or if you'd rather go back to the dark ages... I hear you were quite fond of those days.



8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

Chips = steak fries
French fries from like McD's.... are still fries.






9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Canadian Molson Beer is great too, that is why they produce and export so many great ice hockey players. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

/supportagreekillthepisswaterandshowamericanshowtomakebeerdeargodplease



10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English and Canadian actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English and Canadian actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

That would require a Canadian or English actor to not be evil...


11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

More homoerotic acts... why not...


12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians or Indians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

Baseball is bigger than cricket in the entirety of the world... perhaps you should be discussing this with the greater portion of Asia's population. I must be in the 2.1%. Might I suggest you look beyond your palace... there's a country outside.


13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

Please... strangle it from them.


14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

So you can join us in the glory of national debt! ^_^



15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

Yes mam...



God Save the Queen!


Does the UK believe in God anymore?

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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:14 am

Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
yeah
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:28 am

Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

Well, fuck you too!

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:29 am

Matieu wrote:
To: The citizens of the United States of America

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent members of congress and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A survey will be conducted sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').



2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'



3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.



4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.



5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.

Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.



6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.



7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.



8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.



9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Canadian Molson Beer is great too, that is why they produce and export so many great ice hockey players. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.



10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English and Canadian actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English and Canadian actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.



11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians or Indians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.



13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.



14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).



15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.



God Save the Queen!

As a complete Anglophile bordering on fetishism because it's so strong, I would love this were it true.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:39 am

Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
yeah
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

Ireland PL0X! I mean... I know Wilby and I are Irish...

Spanky... we might have to make him his own country... >.>

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:50 am

Scott wrote:
Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
yeah
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

Ireland PL0X! I mean... I know Wilby and I are Irish...

Spanky... we might have to make him his own country... >.>

Oh I've been meaning to visit Ireland, I wonder if in the south their racist to British Blacks as well..

And yeah, I think I'd purchase a cruise ship for Spanky and Morrigan, instead of making a country.
Well mainly because there's no rules on the open ocean.. he could have a 24/7 party for everyone.
OMG!

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:20 am

Mistress Morrigan wrote:
Matieu wrote:
To: The citizens of the United States of America

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent members of congress and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A survey will be conducted sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').



2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'



3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.



4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.



5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.

Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.



6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.



7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.



8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.



9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Canadian Molson Beer is great too, that is why they produce and export so many great ice hockey players. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.



10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English and Canadian actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English and Canadian actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.



11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians or Indians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.



13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.



14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).



15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.



God Save the Queen!

As a complete Anglophile bordering on fetishism because it's so strong, I would love this were it true.

you Which side of the road do you drive on now?

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Mistress Morrigan
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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 10:38 am

Spanky wrote:
Mistress Morrigan wrote:
Matieu wrote:
To: The citizens of the United States of America

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent members of congress and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A survey will be conducted sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').



2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'



3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.



4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.



5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.

Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.



6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.



7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.



8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.



9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. Canadian Molson Beer is great too, that is why they produce and export so many great ice hockey players. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.



10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English and Canadian actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English and Canadian actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.



11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians or Indians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.



13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.



14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).



15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.



God Save the Queen!

As a complete Anglophile bordering on fetishism because it's so strong, I would love this were it true.

you Which side of the road do you drive on now?

NONE Oh man

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:16 pm

Seeing that Daroska would kill thousands of innocent children and women scares me.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:35 pm

Gaming Misfit wrote:
Seeing that Daroska would kill thousands of innocent children and women scares me.

You realize he'll argue the innocent part...

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:50 pm

Us Americans are truly the scum of this universe. =D

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:56 pm

Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
yeah
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.


Please stop calling the United States America. America can refer to several places.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:11 pm

Ulyaoth wrote:
Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

Well, fuck you too!

You can stay with Morrigan and I in the Bunker. We can watch Hentai for the next 50K years until the rads drop low enough to go on a beer run.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:13 pm

Spanky wrote:
Ulyaoth wrote:
Daroska wrote:
Bloody stereotypes. If there were a button to nuke America near me, I'd press it.
But of course I'd make sure Scott, Spanky & Wilborun were in a safe place, first.

Well, fuck you too!

You can stay with Morrigan and I in the Bunker. We can watch Hentai for the next 50K years until the rads drop low enough to go on a beer run.

Everytime I think I couldn't love you more than I already do, you say something like this, and then I know you are SO meant to be my boyfriend.

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PostSubject: Re: A letter from the Queen   Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:16 pm

Mistress Morrigan wrote:
Spanky wrote:
Ulyaoth wrote:


Well, fuck you too!

You can stay with Morrigan and I in the Bunker. We can watch Hentai for the next 50K years until the rads drop low enough to go on a beer run.

Everytime I think I couldn't love you more than I already do, you say something like this, and then I know you are SO meant to be my boyfriend.

I hope Uly read that before he ran out the door with his DVD player to catch a train to NY. OMG!

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