It's depressing to see how inactive it has been recently. I mean, everybody is pretty much primarily posting in the never ending thread now and there's not enough people here to make this place really booming. We need to find some way to bring more people here before this place just fades into nothingness...
I know for a fact that a lot of boards out there are thriving because of how many people are there. We just need to get back into the game and pull people here. However, where we obtain these people might matter, because we don't to end up pulling in douches like those at Selkath.
I understand that people are busy these days, but it doesn't seem like they're rarely at their computer anymore. I know most of you are still dicking around with your computer. I don't know how we …
Happy New Year OT! We may be dying... BUT WE'RE STILL HERE! We had an... interesting year last year. Vice Admin Burkman is taking a long earned vacation and Uly is stepping into his position. Well... I'd have more to say but I've got other things to do atm... and oh yeah... to quote Callin... "GET A MIC YA BUM!"
Posts : 11279 Join date : 2011-01-26 Age : 27 Location : Burkman's attic... drilling...
Subject: The Story of Wilbornicuz: A SUPER 'Special' OT presentation Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:00 pm
A kid not so shrouded in mystery, more in obnoxious reservoir and outspoken documentations, graced the infamous OT (Off Topic for you cinibunz out there). He would often build a repertoire on money laundering his family's estate and defacing himself. I welcome you to the life of one Jake (Sully) Wilbournicus... AKA the Blue Boy (not to be confused with Smurf'dadyo, the Blue Man Group, or Uly's life story). We will begin this most peculiar biography with an interview with the kid himself.
Scooterz: So... tell us a little bit of your overtly talented life?
We took a brief break to cure Jake's speech impediment. While we all know the problem child that inhabits the OT today... where did he come from? How did he come to be? To answer these questions we falsified a background check app to the government.
Jake was wil-born in East West Alakansas. Son to a red commie fisherman and a 1960s detergent box. Life was not easy early on for Jake... he faced the constant struggle of being ridiculed at school for his father. His mother suffered from the rare disease of bubbles. The grotesque nature of his father inspired the uproar of his rebel streak in his early tween years. He would often exclaim "THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN" at the dinner table in order to upset his father.
Later Jake would find out his relation to a rich and powerful uncle... Mitt Romney. The man came along to a family dinner one night and Jake told him of his secret wish... to combine a fork and spoon... and for 'Bama suck just a little less (we are unclear if he is speaking of O'Bama or ALA'Bama). While Mitt couldn't help Jake with the later he could fund his first idea. And practically overnight Jake became a millionaire with his uncle's investments.
When we came back we dug into the real Meat of the story.
Scooterz: So... Mr. Wilbornicus... how does it feel to have invented the most practically unused utensil in the world?
Wilbz: I didn't invent the spor-
Jake went on to buy every game he could find... never playing any single one for more than a week.
Scooterz: Do games just tend to blur for you now? What is this weeks flavor?
Wilbz: Well I really actually enjo-
In 2012 Jake's mother died in a tragic and devastating washer accident. Authorities say the evidence pointed to the cat.. as there were cat hairs found on her cardboard lining. It was clear the cat thought that the evidence would be washed away with her. Jake soon turned to chocolate icecream and cookie dough in depression.
Scooterz: How much weight did you gain during your depression? It seems like a rather gay approach to your mother's untimely demise.
Wilbz: I've never had dep-
Later that year during his depressive rampage through trans fats Jake stumbled over his rolls onto his invented utensils nearly decapitating him. The facial surgery he had to undergo was ex-tenuous. They were not able to replace his third nipple behind his right ear.
Scooterz: Why is it that every time a celeb is not satisfied with their appearance they get a nose job? Did you really feel it was necessary.
Wilbz: Y'know the actual story about my face is funnier than the one you're-
Scooterz: About that... there is rumor going around that you've tried ass to mouth... is there any truth to these allegations?
Wilbz: Well that's not exac-
Scooterz: Oh I'm sorry we're out of time... join us next week when we visit Callin's kitchen!
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin' partner? Aim for the bushes... *brofist*