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The inactivity of this forum.
Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:06 pm by Burkman
It's depressing to see how inactive it has been recently. I mean, everybody is pretty much primarily posting in the never ending thread now and there's not enough people here to make this place really booming. We need to find some way to bring more people here before this place just fades into nothingness...

I know for a fact that a lot of boards out there are thriving because of how many people are there. We just need to get back into the game and pull people here. However, where we obtain these people might matter, because we don't to end up pulling in douches like those at Selkath.

I understand that people are busy these days, but it doesn't seem like they're rarely at their computer anymore. I know most of you are still dicking around with your computer. I don't know how we …

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Happy New Year!
Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:56 pm by Scott
Happy New Year OT! We may be dying... BUT WE'RE STILL HERE! We had an... interesting year last year. Vice Admin Burkman is taking a long earned vacation and Uly is stepping into his position. Well... I'd have more to say but I've got other things to do atm... and oh yeah... to quote Callin... "GET A MIC YA BUM!"

~Scott

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The Mortonator
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PostSubject: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 8:55 pm

A long, long time ago in a forum close, close nearby...

...I posted consistently. Then the internet was awful and the site looked like trash because of it. I started focusing on school work because I was failing. Posts from friends came less common. New friends weren't coming... Does it matter why? It's a lot of reasons, it's none of them. Maybe I will stick around with this thread. Maybe I will kill myself first. Who knows? Both of them are plans I have.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:10 pm

Suicide is for pussies. Dont be a pussy.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:27 pm

Callin wrote:
Suicide is for pussies. Dont be a pussy.

I happen to like pussy.  

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:31 pm

Don't listen to Callin. He might be mad for me telling this story, but he considered suicide once, his dad called him a pussy for it and now Callin goes around telling everyone they're a pussy for it. His daddy said it, so it's the word of god to be preached about, apparently. You think he wouldn't just go about invalidating everyone's feelings about it like his father did to him. You know he must be aware that that's what he's doing, but here he is doin' it. I find it bizarre. It's like he used to get drunk every now and again but stopped drinking... and now he's hanging drunks, spitting on their corpses, and thinking about how inferior they are to him.

Callin and others will go about saying the cliche bullshit they've always heard in movies and TV about life being worth living for literally everyone no matter what and suicide being "the coward's way out" and it all comes off as very ignorant. They're thinking, "who are you to call ME ignorant, uly? fuck you" but it's true.

"Anyone with problems is a pussy or a coward. I did all I could do. Now I can brush them off. Out of sight, out of mind. I'm better than them and always will be." -Callin and Scott 2014

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:39 pm

I know y'all are gonna think I'm the one starting shit, but callin took that first drastic step by more or less calling someone else a pussy. Callin took the gloves off first. His callous brushing aside of anyone dealing with something he used to deal with rubbed me the wrong way. Don't be a hypocrite... That's like disowning one of your daughters for turning 21 and having a beer.

"god damn alcoholic whore" - Callin while drunk, 2014

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:44 pm

Thanks Uly... I think. Either way, it's just another thing open for consideration with me right now. Not really something I want, but seems like a possible solution. What the fu- 

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 11:18 pm

Words...

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Tue Aug 05, 2014 11:23 pm

Scott wrote:
Words...

Pesky buggers ain't they?

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:43 am

Yes Uly I got really depressed one time when I was a teen and loaded my shotgun up and put it in my mouth and VERY seriously debated on pulling the trigger. My brother also happened to be in the room and as I looked at him I realized I couldnt do it.

Its a cowards way out. You lose and what is beating you down wins. Its being a pussy. I honestly cant think of something (yes even a loss of a child) that would make me kill myself now. There is ALWAYS something to live for. You take your knocks and get back up and keep on keeping on.

Its part of growing up. Depression sucks, I still get it, I still have to deal with family and kids and other things I really dont want to deal with while being depressed. I get over it and do it because the kids need me. I have more things to do than sit around and feel sorry for myself even though I want to. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. MAN IT SUCKS lol.

So yea you want to consider suicide, fine, I wont call you a pussy just yet. You follow through and I will piss on your grave, just like my father told me he would do to me, and not feel a bit of remorse other than for what you could have done if you didnt take the easy way out.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:25 am

Callin wrote:
Yes Uly I got really depressed one time when I was a teen and loaded my shotgun up and put it in my mouth and VERY seriously debated on pulling the trigger. My brother also happened to be in the room and as I looked at him I realized I couldnt do it.

Its a cowards way out. You lose and what is beating you down wins. Its being a pussy. I honestly cant think of something (yes even a loss of a child) that would make me kill myself now. There is ALWAYS something to live for. You take your knocks and get back up and keep on keeping on.

Its part of growing up. Depression sucks, I still get it, I still have to deal with family and kids and other things I really dont want to deal with while being depressed. I get over it and do it because the kids need me. I have more things to do than sit around and feel sorry for myself even though I want to. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. MAN IT SUCKS lol.

So yea you want to consider suicide, fine, I wont call you a pussy just yet. You follow through and I will piss on your grave, just like my father told me he would do to me, and not feel a bit of remorse other than for what you could have done if you didnt take the easy way out.

Oh boo hoo, you got depressed as a teenager same as everyone else on the planet. I couldn't care less right now. You don't know my situation. The truth is I've held on a lot longer than I have had any right to at this point. I made it to adulthood looking for the better and the reasons to live. And everything I did and tried gutted me even worse.

I came back to the OT to fool around, not just talk yet again about this BS. I felt it was only fair people realize that I might not be able to post one day. That's all. My brain is rebelling against... everything I still cared a little for.

...I'm actually going insane from this.

Why am I even bothering to try explaining...

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:10 pm

The Mortonator wrote:
Callin wrote:
Yes Uly I got really depressed one time when I was a teen and loaded my shotgun up and put it in my mouth and VERY seriously debated on pulling the trigger. My brother also happened to be in the room and as I looked at him I realized I couldnt do it.

Its a cowards way out. You lose and what is beating you down wins. Its being a pussy. I honestly cant think of something (yes even a loss of a child) that would make me kill myself now. There is ALWAYS something to live for. You take your knocks and get back up and keep on keeping on.

Its part of growing up. Depression sucks, I still get it, I still have to deal with family and kids and other things I really dont want to deal with while being depressed. I get over it and do it because the kids need me. I have more things to do than sit around and feel sorry for myself even though I want to. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. MAN IT SUCKS lol.

So yea you want to consider suicide, fine, I wont call you a pussy just yet. You follow through and I will piss on your grave, just like my father told me he would do to me, and not feel a bit of remorse other than for what you could have done if you didnt take the easy way out.

Oh boo hoo, you got depressed as a teenager same as everyone else on the planet. I couldn't care less right now. You don't know my situation. The truth is I've held on a lot longer than I have had any right to at this point. I made it to adulthood looking for the better and the reasons to live. And everything I did and tried gutted me even worse.

I came back to the OT to fool around, not just talk yet again about this BS. I felt it was only fair people realize that I might not be able to post one day. That's all. My brain is rebelling against... everything I still cared a little for.

...I'm actually going insane from this.

Why am I even bothering to try explaining...

Hey Mort,

You may or may not know this but I've been diagnosed the clinical depression for around two years now, so I know a bit where you're coming from, I don't think suicide is "the cowards way out"  it felt like the only option for me at times.  As if I was stuck in a pit with no hope of escaping.

 Anywhooo...  I'm doing a lot better now with the help of my meds (only takes the edge off) and counseling each week for two years.  I would heartily recommend counseling not just to people who are depressed but to pretty much anyone, it really really helped me.  

Some councilors are shit though, I went through five different ones before I settled on one I liked.  Been seeing him for two years and I finally feel out of the hole. There is hope and things will get better.

 Chat me up on steam if you want, as someone who has been where you're at it might be nice to vent with someone who gets it.  Also...

www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch

www.reddit.com/r/depression
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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:17 pm

Grimeth is being the only helpful person.


I can't tell you much more than whats already been said. My opinion is much like Callins as in I lose respect for people that commit suicide. As the respect of a 17 year old kid doesn't matter to the majority of the world I won't dive into the details.

The facts are, there IS somebody who loves you. Its not the cowards way out but it is selfish. Whatever the problems are, they will eventually pass. They won't stay with you forever. However suicide is forever.


I'm not gonna say more. But please talk to Grimeth or somebody close. I know a friend to talk to is one of the most important things to have in tough times.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:26 pm

That's another thing that people say that bothers me. Suicide is selfish. Maybe it's selfish of people to want someone to keep on living when they don't want to just so you can enjoy their company. If you love them, let them go. BAM! Yeah, that saying has more than one meaning.

I don't feel like telling somebody they're wrong and to man up is the way to go about it. You'll just push people away. I think it's better to tell someone their feelings are valid. I don't know what will make life worth living or how long it'll take for it to come around. I think some people find their reasons to live sooner than others. Some of us just have to wait a really long time.

I know other people's stories aren't gonna help you, but I've always felt like I would kill myself at some point since I was maybe 18 or 19. I'm not sure when my plan to kill myself at 30 changed, but at the moment I guess I don't really feel like doing it. I'm 27 now. I remember being 26 and thinking how I was getting closer to the deadline. I don't know how long it takes to get a gun or if you have to take gun safety courses to look like a normal person getting into guns, but I remember thinking that I should get started on that when I'm 28 or so.

Anyway, my point is that sometimes it takes a really long time to accept things or for things to change. Sometimes you just have to keep trudging along through life until you find something that makes it better.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:41 pm

I never once said anyones feelings were invalidated. All feelings have merit, even the bad ones.

At Mort, no I dont know your situation and if you dont wanna talk about it and would rather chat about something else. Cool. I was just trying to help, you dont want it, fine.








So on to other things.. How about them Dodgers!

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:03 pm

I don't know what to say Mort, You were always a dear person to the OT by how I've seen your past posts, and I don't know much about your current situation.

But, I've been in a situation similar to yours, and here's my steam name: Motherfucking Carlos. In case you need someone to talk to.

(Sorry for the quick response, I'm stuck in someplace else and had to type this with a tablet)

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:40 pm

You know what? You know what?!

Your signature should say the world belongs to me. Not belong. "The world belong to me." is bad english. And you know it is. Whhhhyyyy?!

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:51 pm

Grimeth's all like, "oh, the manga had bad english, so it's ok."

So let's all go around with bad english then, he says. Hitler wrote "kill the jews" so let's do it, he says.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:01 pm

Grimeth wrote:
The Mortonator wrote:
Callin wrote:
Yes Uly I got really depressed one time when I was a teen and loaded my shotgun up and put it in my mouth and VERY seriously debated on pulling the trigger. My brother also happened to be in the room and as I looked at him I realized I couldnt do it.

Its a cowards way out. You lose and what is beating you down wins. Its being a pussy. I honestly cant think of something (yes even a loss of a child) that would make me kill myself now. There is ALWAYS something to live for. You take your knocks and get back up and keep on keeping on.

Its part of growing up. Depression sucks, I still get it, I still have to deal with family and kids and other things I really dont want to deal with while being depressed. I get over it and do it because the kids need me. I have more things to do than sit around and feel sorry for myself even though I want to. I am an adult and I have responsibilities. MAN IT SUCKS lol.

So yea you want to consider suicide, fine, I wont call you a pussy just yet. You follow through and I will piss on your grave, just like my father told me he would do to me, and not feel a bit of remorse other than for what you could have done if you didnt take the easy way out.

Oh boo hoo, you got depressed as a teenager same as everyone else on the planet. I couldn't care less right now. You don't know my situation. The truth is I've held on a lot longer than I have had any right to at this point. I made it to adulthood looking for the better and the reasons to live. And everything I did and tried gutted me even worse.

I came back to the OT to fool around, not just talk yet again about this BS. I felt it was only fair people realize that I might not be able to post one day. That's all. My brain is rebelling against... everything I still cared a little for.

...I'm actually going insane from this.

Why am I even bothering to try explaining...

Hey Mort,

You may or may not know this but I've been diagnosed the clinical depression for around two years now, so I know a bit where you're coming from, I don't think suicide is "the cowards way out"  it felt like the only option for me at times.  As if I was stuck in a pit with no hope of escaping.

 Anywhooo...  I'm doing a lot better now with the help of my meds (only takes the edge off) and counseling each week for two years.  I would heartily recommend counseling not just to people who are depressed but to pretty much anyone, it really really helped me.  

Some councilors are shit though, I went through five different ones before I settled on one I liked.  Been seeing him for two years and I finally feel out of the hole.  There is hope and things will get better.

 Chat me up on steam if you want, as someone who has been where you're at it might be nice to vent with someone who gets it.  Also...

www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch

www.reddit.com/r/depression

...thanks Grimeth...

I honestly never meant to discuss how bad things have gotten. I just threw that in the post without even thinking about it. I've always been so strong, it's just a core part of my personality and to have it removed is really, really trying. I don't have MDD, ADD, Asperger, or really any mental condition. The fact I'm going to be thrown into group consoling with people who do without getting a say has me terrified right now. It doesn't make sense... I'm well above average in intelligence, cunning, skills. And yet all that and now here I am?

Truth is I've basically been robbed of most opportunities I had in life. A lot of them early on by medication that was supposed to help me and only brought me nearer and nearer to killing myself before I got off it. Lately it got worse when my brain started shutting down... School work that's a cake walk I couldn't do without panic attacks. Then after my birthday in July I started having crying spells and night terrors constantly.

...I really appreciate the kind thoughts and care from you guys backwards as some of it is. :p Especially after this junk has kept me away from chatting for a long, long time.



So, then, about the Dodgers... Wait, I don't know sports... Uuuuuuh, here's a girl named Dodger!



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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:27 pm

There's a Dodger gif for everything...

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:32 pm

Ulyaoth wrote:
You know what? You know what?!

Your signature should say the world belongs to me. Not belong. "The world belong to me." is bad english. And you know it is. Whhhhyyyy?!

That's a quote from the manga.
So don't bitch about it.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:47 pm

Ban-Anad wrote:
There's a Dodger gif for everything...

Mostly just for eating food on the podcast though. :p

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:00 pm

The Mortonator wrote:
Ban-Anad wrote:
There's a Dodger gif for everything...

Mostly just for eating food on the podcast though. :p

And weird faces from her vlogs...

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Wed Aug 06, 2014 10:58 pm

Yall are misusing this site... misusing and abusing.

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Thu Aug 07, 2014 3:35 am

"it's a poorly translated quote from a manga, so it's cool"

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PostSubject: Re: Post a Day   Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:13 am

I might have borderline personality disorder...

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