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The inactivity of this forum.
Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:06 pm by Burkman
It's depressing to see how inactive it has been recently. I mean, everybody is pretty much primarily posting in the never ending thread now and there's not enough people here to make this place really booming. We need to find some way to bring more people here before this place just fades into nothingness...

I know for a fact that a lot of boards out there are thriving because of how many people are there. We just need to get back into the game and pull people here. However, where we obtain these people might matter, because we don't to end up pulling in douches like those at Selkath.

I understand that people are busy these days, but it doesn't seem like they're rarely at their computer anymore. I know most of you are still dicking around with your computer. I don't know how we …

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Happy New Year!
Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:56 pm by Scott
Happy New Year OT! We may be dying... BUT WE'RE STILL HERE! We had an... interesting year last year. Vice Admin Burkman is taking a long earned vacation and Uly is stepping into his position. Well... I'd have more to say but I've got other things to do atm... and oh yeah... to quote Callin... "GET A MIC YA BUM!"

~Scott

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 An OT Story: just for you

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Daroska
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PostSubject: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:45 am

It all started when our overrated adventurer, Daroska, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously displeased, Daroska hit a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unfulfilled decades later, he realized that his beloved Vaseline was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, KingWilbourn. Daroska had known KingWilbourn for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. KingWilbourn was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... clueless. Daroska called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

KingWilbourn picked up to a very unctuous Daroska. KingWilbourn calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats cringe before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually indiscriminately sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Daroska. Why was KingWilbourn trying to distract Daroska? Because he had snuck out from Daroska's motel with Vaseline only nine days prior. She was a striking little woman... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Daroska got back to the subject at hand: Vaseline. KingWilbourn shuddered. Relunctantly, KingWilbourn invited him over, assuring him they'd find this Vaseline. Daroska grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, KingWilbourn realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide Vaseline and he had to do it aggressively. He figured that if Daroska took the hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle, he had take at least five minutes before Daroska would get there. But if he took The Mortonator? Then KingWilbourn would be ridiculously screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, KingWilbourn was interrupted by two annoying Smaps that were lured by Vaseline. KingWilbourn panicked; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he aimlessly reached for his wolverine and carefully backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard The Mortonator rolling up. It was Daroska.

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Wal-Mart to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Daroska was out of The Mortonator and went sassily jaunting toward KingWilbourn's front door. Meanwhile inside, KingWilbourn was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed Vaseline into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind his giraffe. KingWilbourn was angered but at least Vaseline was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' KingWilbourn surreptitiously purred. With a mighty push, Daroska opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish rationality-deprived retard in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' KingWilbourn assured him. Daroska took a seat vaguely close to where KingWilbourn had hidden Vaseline. KingWilbourn turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Daroska was distracted. A few unfulfilled decades later, KingWilbourn noticed a selfish look on Daroska's face. Daroska slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

KingWilbourn felt a stabbing pain in his prostate when Daroska asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Vaseline right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on Daroska's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Daroska nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before KingWilbourn could react, Daroska recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. Vaseline was plainly in view.

Daroska stared at KingWilbourn for what what must've been eleven seconds. As if it really mattered KingWilbourn groped sassily in Daroska's direction, clearly desperate. Daroska grabbed Vaseline and bolted for the door. It was locked. KingWilbourn let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you had been protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Daroska,' he rebuked. KingWilbourn always had been a little oafish, so Daroska knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before KingWilbourn did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, he gripped Vaseline tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

KingWilbourn looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Daroska. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame five days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Daroska. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. KingWilbourn walked over to the window and looked down. Daroska was gone.

Just yonder, Daroska was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind KingWilbourn's place. Daroska had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Smaps suddenly appeared, having caught wind of Vaseline. One by one they latched on to Daroska. Already weakened from his injury, Daroska yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Smaps running off with Vaseline.

But then Matieu came down with His outgoing smile and restored Vaseline. Feeling displeased, Matieu smote the Smaps for their injustice. Then He got in His rice rocket and blasted away with the fortitude of 11,000 long-haired sea monkeys running from a big pack of man-eating capybaras. Daroska vomited with joy when he saw this. Vaseline was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in five minutes his favorite TV show, Causa: Life Story, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet contraceptive'). Daroska was thrilled. And so, everyone except KingWilbourn and a few weapon of mass destruction-toting Indonesian devil cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.

-The OT needs spicing up, so I thought I'd spin one of my ridiculously awesome tales out for you guys-
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Mr. Branch
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:46 am

tl:dr

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Jet
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:47 am

Branch wrote:
tl:dr

This.

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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:51 am

Branch wrote:
tl:dr

That was typical. :roll:
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:59 am

I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.
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GSG
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:03 pm

Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:08 pm

tl;dr

I'll read it later tho...

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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:11 pm

GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Don't forget you are too. Iseewhatyoudidthere
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Vaseline
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:13 pm

GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Yeah, I'm that desperate.
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GSG
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:15 pm

Vaseline wrote:
GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Yeah, I'm that desperate.

You desperate, bro?

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:16 pm

Vaseline wrote:
GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Yeah, I'm that desperate.

Tell me about it...
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Vaseline
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:17 pm

GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
GiantSpiderGoat wrote:



You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Yeah, I'm that desperate.

You desperate, bro?

Not really.
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:17 pm

Daroska wrote:
GiantSpiderGoat wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
I read it all and...



I cried, it is such a moving and inspirational story. Really.


You so are just trying to get in someones pants.

Don't forget you are too. Iseewhatyoudidthere


Yeah but I have a pants fetish.

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:49 pm

/Applause

You made my nips get hard.



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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:03 pm

KingWilbourn wrote:
/Applause

You made my nips get hard.



I made your japanese homies get wood? not really surprised there. troll
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:09 pm

Daroska wrote:
KingWilbourn wrote:
/Applause

You made my nips get hard.



I made your japanese homies get wood? not really surprised there. troll

I can't believe you didn't mention when we went on the seas too defeat the evil kraken known as.....


DARTHNEMIS.

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The Dark One returns.
9/11 was an inside job.
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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:26 pm

KingWilbourn wrote:
Daroska wrote:
KingWilbourn wrote:
/Applause

You made my nips get hard.



I made your japanese homies get wood? not really surprised there. troll

I can't believe you didn't mention when we went on the seas too defeat the evil kraken known as.....


DARTHNEMIS.

Nah, no one wants to hear a splice of Pirates Of The Caribbean and Mass Effect.
Now what I should have mentioned was that time we cracked a vending machine.
And accessed the holy PJ snacks. Those mouth watering snacks you see on the ads.
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:29 pm

Daroska wrote:
KingWilbourn wrote:
Daroska wrote:


I made your japanese homies get wood? not really surprised there. troll

I can't believe you didn't mention when we went on the seas too defeat the evil kraken known as.....


DARTHNEMIS.

Nah, no one wants to hear a splice of Pirates Of The Caribbean and Mass Effect.
Now what I should have mentioned was that time we cracked a vending machine.
And accessed the holy PJ snacks. Those mouth watering snacks you see on the ads.

Oooo yes!

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:33 pm

I love it!
Moar pl0x. Good Show sir.

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:35 pm

Causa wrote:
I love it!
Moar pl0x. Good Show sir.

Yeah! What happens...
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:36 pm

Vaseline wrote:
Causa wrote:
I love it!
Moar pl0x. Good Show sir.

Yeah! What happens...

I assumed you read it.

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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:37 pm

Causa wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
Causa wrote:
I love it!
Moar pl0x. Good Show sir.

Yeah! What happens...

I assumed you read it.

I actually did... I just want to know what happens in the sequel.
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:39 pm

Vaseline wrote:
Causa wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
Causa wrote:
I love it!
Moar pl0x. Good Show sir.

Yeah! What happens...

I assumed you read it.

I actually did... I just want to know what happens in the sequel.


I don't know. my jawa is uncheerfu

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Daroska
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PostSubject: Re: An OT Story: just for you   Sun Jun 05, 2011 3:18 pm

Causa wrote:
Vaseline wrote:
Causa wrote:


I assumed you read it.

I actually did... I just want to know what happens in the sequel.


I don't know. my jawa is uncheerfu

Well all we know is that it will contain the famous tv show - Causa: Life Story
What the fu-
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An OT Story: just for you
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