| | Greetings, gentlemen. |  |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| Subject: Greetings, gentlemen.  Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:48 pm | |
| Please, sit down and let's discuss what made Humpty Dumpty fall from that great height. Was it me who had pushed him off? It was, indeed. That ingrate took my favorite tie after I had bought him a new suit. | |
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Ulyaoth
Lonely Bastard
Posts : 4358
Join date : 2011-04-19
Age : 37
Location : Hampton, Virginia
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:51 pm | |
| Humpty Dumpty is an elderly man with a hip replacement. It was hot out and he had been walking for hours. He was not able to drive, but wanted to buy a present for his granddaughter from the store, a few miles away. The wall was the only place he could find to sit.
Scott pushed him for sitting on a wall without paying the wall-sitting fee. He felt gratified, knowing he removed a leech from society. | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:57 pm | |
| - Ulyaoth wrote:
- Humpty Dumpty is an elderly man with a hip replacement. It was hot out and he had been walking for hours. He was not able to drive, but wanted to buy a present for his granddaughter from the store, a few miles away. The wall was the only place he could find to sit.
Scott pushed him for sitting on a wall without paying the wall-sitting fee. He felt gratified, knowing he removed a leech from society. Ah, but there were other places other than that wall. He should have known that there had been a law on wall-sitting in the first place. | |
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Scott
Warlord
Posts : 11279
Join date : 2011-01-26
Age : 35
Location : Burkman's attic... drilling...
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 2:06 am | |
| I know it's hard for Uly to not post about me every other post... but I forgive him. | |
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Callin
I have a title
Posts : 2800
Join date : 2011-12-02
Age : 43
Location : Over there Monkey Fisting
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:23 am | |
| At 12:30 last night i snuck into the residence of Mr Humpty. Broke both his legs with a baseball bat and tied him up. Threw him in the back of my Cadillac and drove to the wall. Placed him on a dolly and carted him to the very top where my accomplice Mr White was waiting.
After throwing a few punches for fun, and asking where the money was that he stole from us. We turned him around to face the edge and forced to straighten up like a man while kneeling.
I then put the end of the barrel of my .45 to the back of his head. So he could feel the cold steel. I then fired 3 quick shots up in the air to make him shit his pants, and kicked him in between his shoulder blades. I laughed as he tumbled and screamed the whole way down.
/splat
I then called all the kings men and told them where the payment was. Mr Humpty was never put back together again.
Regards
Mr Blue | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 11:29 am | |
| Mr. Humpty has quite a record with pissing off people. | |
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Scott
Warlord
Posts : 11279
Join date : 2011-01-26
Age : 35
Location : Burkman's attic... drilling...
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:08 pm | |
| Little did anyone know that it was a full moon that night. But before I explain the following events I would like to explain how such a monster came to be. Earlier that week Mr. Humpty had indeed borrowed money from the Kings Men... a well known local gang. He had bought several items off of Craig's List as well as dropping over 2K at his local Wallgreens. Being the crack whore that he was, Mr. Humpty began construction on his first meth lab. At first he tried his original batches on his relatives (unannounced to them). Usually a few days after which they would either commit suicide or sodomize their next door neighbor, in some cases both. After a long line of questioning from authorities Mr. Humpty managed to appear clean. With the kings men pressing on him for progress and their money Mr. Humpty had no choice but to begin trying his product on himself. Occasionally when the mood struck he would stop on the corner to pick up a hooker... who usually ended up in the river behind his house. By the time Mr. Bule and Mr. White had gotten to Mr. Humpty he was so coked up his arm was halfway into a week old hooker screaming "I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!" What transpired next is known as the Mr. Dumpty Incident... At sometime around 2:00 in the morning something awoke incide Mr. Humpty. Cracking from the outside a new man arose... a mad man. The next day Mr. Blue was found beaten to death with his own arm which was then rammed up his anus. Mr. White was found in a port-o-poty near the park covered in feces, chewing on his fingers to the bone, and mumbling "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall... Humpty Dumpty had a great fall... all the Kings horses and all the Kings Men... will now die and repent for their blasphemous sin... Mr. Dumpty... Mr. Dumpty... Mr. Dumpty... Mr. Dumty..."  Cordially, Mr. Faq | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:23 pm | |
| Then along came Burkman and fucked his shit up. | |
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Scott
Warlord
Posts : 11279
Join date : 2011-01-26
Age : 35
Location : Burkman's attic... drilling...
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:29 pm | |
| - Burkman wrote:
- Then along came Burkman and fucked his shit up.
Mr. Dumpty is a whole new level of evil... | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:35 pm | |
| - Papa Scott wrote:
- Burkman wrote:
- Then along came Burkman and fucked his shit up.
Mr. Dumpty is a whole new level of evil... Bitch, please. Remind yourself what I am capable of. | |
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Scott
Warlord
Posts : 11279
Join date : 2011-01-26
Age : 35
Location : Burkman's attic... drilling...
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 1:25 pm | |
| - Burkman wrote:
- Papa Scott wrote:
- Burkman wrote:
- Then along came Burkman and fucked his shit up.
Mr. Dumpty is a whole new level of evil...
Bitch, please. Remind yourself what I am capable of. I did... and then I thought of Mr. Dumpty's basement... and felt like taking a vacation to yerz.  | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
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Callin
I have a title
Posts : 2800
Join date : 2011-12-02
Age : 43
Location : Over there Monkey Fisting
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
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SoupWithSauce
WolfPack
Posts : 2908
Join date : 2011-03-18
Age : 26
Location : Canadia
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:59 pm | |
| - Burkman wrote:
- Callin wrote:
- Burkman wrote:
Who's to say that I'm not Mr. Dumpty this whole time? Perhaps he's just a part of the true me.
Dumpception?
Just like taking a shit onto another shit. Sounds pretty shitty. | |
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Burkman
Perfect Stranger
Posts : 6437
Join date : 2011-02-23
Age : 81
Location : The Moon
| | Subject: Re: Greetings, gentlemen. Fri Aug 03, 2012 5:11 pm | |
| - SoupWithSauce wrote:
- Burkman wrote:
- Callin wrote:
- Burkman wrote:
Who's to say that I'm not Mr. Dumpty this whole time? Perhaps he's just a part of the true me.
Dumpception?
Just like taking a shit onto another shit.
Sounds pretty shitty. Shitception | |
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