L12PW: The New Order

Ulyaoth wrote:

Your friend asks to borrow $20 to buy one can of soda. You give him $20. He returns with one can of soda.

"Is there any change?", you ask him.

"No.", he says.

"You spent $20 on one can of soda?"

"Yes"

"No can of soda costs a whole $20!"

"That's what I spent it on."

After going over this 6 or 7 times, this friend reveals that he actually has a trunk full of cans of soda. He spent all $20 on them. He insists that he did not lie, nor even tell a half-truth about what he spent the money on. Why? Because he spent it on one can of soda AND other cans of soda. You didn't say other cans of soda, you just said one can of soda.

Does this make sense to you... and would you say your friend was lying to you up until he revealed that he had more sodas?

Uly votes yes...

This is how venture capitalism works...

God forbid you go out of your way to agree or disagree after you've finished your joking around...

Ulyaoth wrote:

God forbid you go out of your way to agree or disagree after you've finished your joking around...

take 19 dollars outta his ass. seriously. shove 19 dollars up his ass and treat it like a wallet. the money can be in coin or paper form. and heaven forbid he unclench and lose any more money... and he better pray that payday dont come around while his ass is a wallet. cus then its gonna get stuffed.

matter of fact.. make it pennies. lots of pennies.

Mine Turtle wrote:

Welp... Shit just got real...

Mine Turtle wrote:

Finally... someone to rival Orgasmo...

Branch is basically joffrey from game of thrones and scott is his cersei lannister.

EDIT: I see now that branch doesn't understand because he's never had it done to him. He's never had a seemingly harmless post deleted by another person because they personally felt it was offensive. He's never had that child ripped from his arms. He can't understand. He is basically kim jong il. Or you know, joffrey...

So, you've got a job at a place where you pour lava into buckets. You're not sure why you pour lava into buckets, but you do. Anyway, you've got experience pouring lava into buckets. In fact, you've been doing it a few years.

Corporate decides you need a manager to oversee you pouring lava into buckets.

The manager is guiding you through pouring the lava into the bucket via walkie talkie. He can't see what you're doing, you're going by voice alone. You've done this before, but you can't help but notice the manager doesn't tell you WHY you're doing these things, he just tells you to do them and expects you to do it. Any questions are met with his frustration and cries of "JUST DO IT!"

So, a bucket comes along on the conveyor belt and stops before you, ready to be filled with lava.

But wait... there's a baby in the bucket. A live freaking baby.

"Ok, now pour the lava in." your manager says over the walkie talkie.

"Sir, there's a baby in the bucket."

"Did I fucking stutter? Pour the lava into the bucket."

"But... sir... there's a live baby in this bucket! The lava will kill him!"

"WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? YOU CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS! I AM THE LORD GOD OF POURING LAVA INTO BUCKETS AND YOU KNOW NOTHING... NOTHING!! EXCEPT WHAT I TELL YOU!"

He then storms out of the building, in a rage.

After he leaves, you safely remove the baby from the bucket and pour the lava successfully. A job well done!

Let us have a round of applause for our actors... Uly the lava pourer. Grimeth the manager. And Burkman, the ex-employee grimeth referred to as also being a complete idiot. That part didn't make the cut in the film, but is just as true.

EDIT: Oh and uuuh... the baby was played by wilbourn. Others were asked but only wilbourn stepped forward to play the humiliating role of the baby. His enthusiasm and humor really made the scene. Bravo to wilbourn.

It's awful quiet around here...

Banana, me and grimeth got tekkit, but we don't know if you use tekkit lite or tekkit classic.

Your frand,
Uly

Ulyaoth wrote:

It's awful quiet around here...

Banana, me and grimeth got tekkit, but we don't know if you use tekkit lite or tekkit classic.

Your frand,
Uly

D'awww... Tekkit Classic is the one I use... I'm not entirely sure what Lite includes... And Technic is a bit unstable...
Anyways, if you guys wanna join me- just say the word and I'll get the server up...

I've been gone for 2 years. Just returned last Friday. Anyone recognise me? I remember Scott, Callin, Uly, Grimeth, Collawars, and Boba, plus a few more I didn't mention. I'm probably missing some people who changed their screenname after moving here.

Anyway, +1 postcount for me. It's gonna take a while to catch up. :P

Vidgamer wrote:

I've been gone for 2 years. Just returned last Friday. Anyone recognise me? I remember Scott, Callin, Uly, Grimeth, Collawars, and Boba, plus a few more I didn't mention. I'm probably missing some people who changed their screenname after moving here.

Anyway, +1 postcount for me. It's gonna take a while to catch up. :P

Yes Vid.

Vidgamer wrote:

I've been gone for 2 years. Just returned last Friday. Anyone recognise me? I remember Scott, Callin, Uly, Grimeth, Collawars, and Boba, plus a few more I didn't mention. I'm probably missing some people who changed their screenname after moving here.

Anyway, +1 postcount for me. It's gonna take a while to catch up. :P

Hi thur Vid...

Vidgamer wrote:

I've been gone for 2 years. Just returned last Friday. Anyone recognise me? I remember Scott, Callin, Uly, Grimeth, Collawars, and Boba, plus a few more I didn't mention. I'm probably missing some people who changed their screenname after moving here.

Anyway, +1 postcount for me. It's gonna take a while to catch up. :P

We've accomplished nothing in the past 2 years (absent once active members)... you are now caught up.

Electric Avenue is about the Brixton riots.

Burkman wrote:

Vidgamer wrote:

I've been gone for 2 years. Just returned last Friday. Anyone recognise me? I remember Scott, Callin, Uly, Grimeth, Collawars, and Boba, plus a few more I didn't mention. I'm probably missing some people who changed their screenname after moving here.

Anyway, +1 postcount for me. It's gonna take a while to catch up. :P

I'm offended you don't remember me.

I still don't remember you from the Old OT.

Burkman once fucked a chicken.

Me and grimeth played tekkit. He kept hitting me with his fists, pushing me off cliffs and stuff. I tried to make a wheat farm and he started placing sand all over it...

I wish I had someone to play minecraft with who wasn't ridiculous like this...

Ulyaoth wrote:

Me and grimeth played tekkit. He kept hitting me with his fists, pushing me off cliffs and stuff. I tried to make a wheat farm and he started placing sand all over it...

I wish I had someone to play minecraft with who wasn't ridiculous like this...

You forgot to mention the part where you ruined everything by the constant hitting me with a boomerang...

and chopping down all my trees... ULY RUINED TEKKIT!

You wanted to throw a boomerang at me... I said nay...

So grimeth told me to throw one at him so he can see it's damage. Uly complied.

Then grimeth... with all his cruelty, malice, and will to dominate, threw his boomerang back at uly, uninvited.

The tree-chopping happened near the end, anyway... after grimeth's constant punching and sword-slicing.

Let's play a new game: Dunk Uly in the acid tank. A carnival tank with a target filled with acid. Everyone tries to throw a ball at it. When the target is hit, Uly falls in. The winner gets a c00kiee.

Step in line for a chance to see Uly burn alive and get a cookie!

Vidgamer wrote:

Let's play a new game: Dunk Uly in the acid tank. A carnival tank with a target filled with acid. Everyone tries to throw a ball at it. When the target is hit, Uly falls in. The winner gets a c00kiee.

Step in line for a chance to see Uly burn alive and get a cookie!

I say we squirt him with one of those toxins that make your blood into essentially crazy putty...